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Ljubljana Cricket Club -> Ljubljana Cricket Club Forum -> nOOb's and other forum insults
Post Info TOPIC: nOOb's and other forum insults
El Treasurorio


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nOOb's and other forum insults
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Would one gracious member please give me the accolade as the first forum member to be called a "nOOb"? After 170 odd posts, it's surely high time that this phrase bestowes our house of comment. A prize to the person and also please feel free to post amusing examples of insults that fellow members have come accross in their various forum viewings.


If none of you can bring yourself to do it, here is some ammunition:


"Hi, I'm new to this forum business and I was wondering how you post pictures within your post not as attachments."


 


Game on.... 



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El Presidente


Disco Brad

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El Treasurorio wrote:

Would one gracious member please give me the accolade as the first forum member to be called a "nOOb"? After 170 odd posts, it's surely high time that this phrase bestowes our house of comment. A prize to the person and also please feel free to post amusing examples of insults that fellow members have come accross in their various forum viewings.


If none of you can bring yourself to do it, here is some ammunition:


"Hi, I'm new to this forum business and I was wondering how you post pictures within your post not as attachments."


 


Game on.... 




Oh Go on then, I'll have a go.

U R Another stupid n00b thats new to the forums thats trying to act k00l. Don't work. Stupid n00bs. Zz wasting peoples time.



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Slogger 
a batsman who hits a lot of slogs. Derogatory.
joel


Findin' Fundin

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lol, wot he said ^^^

****ing n00b.

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Former former great
joel


Findin' Fundin

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I only speak to Veteran Members, lol

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El Treasurorio


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Ok, thanks for the award


On a related note, the following is, I suppose, a form of internet abuse. Read on for some excellent chat room abuse...


This is a transcript of an actual cyber sex session. As all of you are wellaware, online computers are often used to engage in cybersex. Detailed fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly transmitted over the Internet. Sometimes these harmless


fantasies become fairly raunchy. This is not the case with the following transcript of an actual on-line cybersex session. Either this guy is clueless or has the greatest sense of humour known to mankind.


 


 


Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?


Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?


 


Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.


 


Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?


Wellhung: OK


Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and


I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.


Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.


Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.


Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.


 


Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.


Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.


Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.


 


Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.


Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.


Wellhung: I'll pay for it.


Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra,


my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.


Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do you have scissors?


Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp.


My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, nipples are erect for you.


Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.


Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all


over me.


Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!


Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.


Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.


Sweetheart: WHAT?


 


Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.


Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my blouse.


Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the corner of the room.


Sweetheart: OK.


I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.


Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!


Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.


Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties.


My tongue is going all over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.


Sweetheart: What's the matter?


Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.


Sweetheart: Are you OK?


Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.


 



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El Treasurorio


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Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?


Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??


Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink


Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.


 


Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.


Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.


Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.


Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?


 


Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.


Wellhung: I found it.


Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.


Wellhung: Me too.


Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other.


 


Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.


Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?


Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the nightstand.


Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!


 


Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom


Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.


Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid.


Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.


 


Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh!


Sweetheart: What's the matter now?


Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.


Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.


 


Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm, woman's thing.


Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!


Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.


Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth.


I can't wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me!


Wellhung: I'm flaccid.


Sweetheart: WHAT?


Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.


Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.


 


Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.


Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.


 


Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your candles.


Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.


Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses.


My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a shocked look on my face.


Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!


Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!


 



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Anonymous

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haha. brad i found you :D n00bz0r


http://users.volja.net/jernej1983/tito-n00b.jpg


p.s sebastjan...oblak here



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El Presidente


Disco Brad

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Anonymous wrote:

haha. brad i found you :D n00bz0r


http://users.volja.net/jernej1983/tito-n00b.jpg


p.s sebastjan...oblak here




Think you pwn me Seb? I doubt it.
You can't even attach a photo or an emoticon so why don't you STFU you sub-N00b!

Plus, this thread is supposed to be for attacking the first poster. Not me!
noobtard!

-- Edited by El Presidente at 21:01, 2007-01-11

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Slogger 
a batsman who hits a lot of slogs. Derogatory.
joel


Findin' Fundin

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El Presidente wrote:


noobtard






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Anonymous

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joel wrote:


El Presidente wrote:



noobtard

It's "nOObtard", you nOObtards!

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