This is where we build our own version of the game played in our youth(s). The rules, sorry, laws, will be drafted later. Let's have some ideas first. We're talking the cricket we played in the garden, the school yard, the street or the park. For instance, the law of "six and out" is essential when confronted by a physical barrier (usually a fence) or no-man's land. But there are many more ideas and memories waiting to be recorded...
I'll kick us off with the "100-yard run-up".
At some point during park cricket the bowler will have to retrieve a straight hit (never enough fielders you see). He will inevitably commence the 100-yard run-up, where Bob Willis meets Paula Radcliffe, steaming in wild-eyed while the batsman has to hold his guard position. Any attempt by the batsman to break away from his guard will restart the whole grisly process. The bowler has three options upon approaching the wicket at his end (a bag full of gear or a solitary stump):
1. The Rethink. Bowler stops Olympic sprint about 3 metres from the crease and attempts a normal delivery.
2. The Boundary Fodder. Bowler accelerates into crease, all the while screaming, cursing and threatening to inflict physical injury with his great pace. But the delivery is actually, oh shock of shocks, a Fishesque slower ball. This gets absolutely carted, as is right and proper.
3. The Jonathan Edwards. Bowler attempts fast delivery, but has to make rather frequent adjustments in stride. Often cleans the batsman up.
-- Edited by paichukka at 02:36, 2007-04-02
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
Many have speculated that you and mr Brazzo had some kind of physical barrier in your backyard cricket pitch (such as a flower bed). This would explain the frequency of rank short balls in your adult careers.
As for the six and out law, well I didn't allow it in our neighbourhood rules as it frankly rewards stupidity. Hitting a six over the fence with the "killer dog" or "child hating psycho madwoman" would often mean the loss of the only ball in the neighbourhood. Therefore the end of the game. So earning a six for ruining all the fun was pretty stupid if you ask me. Should get at least a mouth full of abuse.
Our local rule was the "one handed catch out of the tree." After being banished from our original pitch due to a pissed off neighbour who clearly hated children we headed for the end of a cul-de-sac which ended at a park. Lots of space, but if the keeper missed it it would run all the way down the street and involve a very long fetch. So a lot of straight slogging was involved which often encontered large trees. A ball coming down out of a tree could often take (due to being slowed down by eucalyptus leaves) a relatively long time. This could enable the bowler to run quickly to a position under the tree where he could actually take a very difficult one-handed catch thus ending the batsman's innings.
Another rule was the "bails didn't fall off." We had two large squares of foam as wickets (which made the wickets about a metre high, but there you go). The problem was that if they were hit by a tennis ball, there was no resounding clang to prove that the batsman was out. Naturally with backyard cricketers never being "walkers" this proved difficult. So we solved this by placing two stones on the front of the top of the foam. If the ball hit the stumps, they would be knocked off, if they didn't however - "tough"
Nevertheless, some conventions were observed, and none more so than wicketkeeping. Before the acquisition of your actual wickie's gloves, all manner of handwear would be tried: batting gloves, gardening gloves, bizarre leather gauntlets that may have come from Biggles himself, the old snowball fight trick of two pairs of gloves... Then there were the more robust and contemptuous types who eschewed manual protection altogether (they are now the ones who consider batting helmets as being for poofs). And of course pads were never worn, unless you were next in, or had just been dismissed and wanted to avoid generic cover fielding duties under Law 3a.
Given this parsimony of equipment, and the ball's tendency to shoot or deviate at least a foot off the "seam", it is little surprise that a genuine caught behind was an event worthy of celebration. The jubilant wickie would seize upon the ball, hurl it skywards with an utterly superfluous appeal, never failing to clutch the ball as it came down (and often having to retreat significantly in the process), and then set off on the victory gallop. This would usually involve running up to the batsman and waving the ball, still pouched, in his face, while releasing a general taunting "weeyyyyyyyeyyyy" sound. The bowler was allowed to meekly acknowledge his part in this glory. The sole variation on this was the double glory of the combined catch and stumping off the spinner: catch taken, then stumps obliterated before batsman regains his ground. The true masters could fit a brief "weyey" in between the two dismissals, before launching into their primary "waaaaaahhhhhhhhhh".
Wicketkeeping technique lesson: Assume complete crouch position for first three of four balls. Ignore thenceforth, unless a spinner is brought on.
-- Edited by paichukka at 14:43, 2007-04-02
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
At ours, garden cricket took up most of the school holidays. I even prepared my own wicket, with a haevy roller borrowed from the neighbour and our lawnmower set to minimum height. After much work, me and my brother ended up with a highly discernible wicket, which more often looked better than it played. Mind you, after some rare weeks of no rain and constant care, it turned into a corker.
Balls were either the red&white plastic allweather practise ones nicked from school (they lasted much better than proper balls if lost in the undergrowth) or tennis balls with cellotape to provide wicked swing. Cricket pads were not allowed, which proved highly interesting when using the hard plastic balls. The wicket was a proper 3 full size stumps, with room for wicket keeper behind. Well, it was until one day when a mate keept wicket to a square cut in the ribs. Extra fielders were provided by garden flower pots and at times kitchen utensiles. 6 and out was the rule and proved to be vaguely popular as we were blessed with kind neighbours.
Summer garden cricket is sorely missed. Halcyon bliss.
Lawnmower? For real garden cricket commitment, surely the hand shears were essential. I think I even tried scissors at one point in search of the perfect finish. And the roller was a good call too. Our mates up the road had a heavy one, but their garden was on a hill (I'd have no trouble with the Lords slope, believe me). I seem to recall waiting for rain, and then dancing about on the wicket to flatten it as another technique...
These days they talk about bowlers bowling a "heavy ball", but nothing can compare to the 2,000 over ball left out in the rain for a season or two. Imossible to get away...
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
We shouldn't be forgetting the changeover at the end of the over, since no self-respecting backyard player would think of playing with two sets of wickets -- a single stump at a 65 degree angle suffices for the bowler's end. Of course, the changeover does not happen if the batsman at the striker's end is a bigger boy.
Games should be scheduled after a day watching an England v India test match, preferably of 1979-81 vintage. This will lead to a whole evening of good-looking 'forward defensives', even for balls pitched short down leg.
One hand one bounce, and a refusal to acknowledge the 'bump ball'.
In Townend v Townend jr matches we instigated a short-lived rule where you had to change bowling styles at the end of an over. My devilish spin was all too easily dispatched into ball-loss territory, while I wasn't really satisfied with my brother's "What? Fast and a bit faster"-approach to my innovation.
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You will play better Today than you did Yesterday, and almost as much as you will Tomorrow
Of course, the bump ball catch. Or crowd catch as El Presidente would have it. Great stuff.
And what are all these over things anyway? In Park Cricket surely the bowler chucks down about ten pies or so, then one of his mates in generic cover goes "over" and the bowler responds "two left"...
-- Edited by paichukka at 18:09, 2007-04-03
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
And what are all these over things anyway? In Park Cricket surely the bowler chucks down about ten pies or so, then one of his mates in generic cover goes "over" and the bowler responds "two left"...
I wonder if any of you had the "hit and run" rule. We had this delightful innovation at school (the so-called "third XI", informally known as "the crap group"), which basically meant that if you hit the ball, you had to run. However, it was a little more complicated than that:
Rule 94: Hit and Run
a) Any batsman who, on being bowled a legitimate delivery, touches the ball with any part of his bat, shall have to attempt to complete one run. b) If the batsman unintentionally flicks the ball very lightly, he shall respond to any howls of indignation from the wicket keeper by insisting that he "never touched it you diq". c) If the batsman at the striker's end is a good mate of the batsman at the non-striker's end, he shall be sure to hit the ball far enough for at least one run to be completed. d) If the batsman at the striker's end doesn't like the batsman at the non-striker's end, he shall take the first opportunity to dab the ball gently in the direction of the closest offside fielder and immediately set off at a gallop. e) If the batsman at the non-striker's end is a teacher, the on-strike batsman shall give the mildest tap to the ball as it rolls through to the keeper, and immediately set off at a gallop, ensuring that he smiles and says "sorry Sir" when the two batsmen pass. f) All other players are expected to laugh heartily when the above situation occurs.
The other great convention related to the choice of umpires. I'll add that later.
Oh yeah. Tip and run. Almost compulsory and don't forget "electric wicket" which meant that a batsmen would be run out if you hit the stumps at either end before he had reached his ground (or yelled "safe" which was another rule - if you didn't say "safe" you could be given out run out, or if you had said it - it made overthrows impossible) Last man standing also compulsory so you didn't suffer if your useless mates got out too soon. Many different "backyards" had a strange rule where you carried forward your score from the previous innings, which meant celebrating some rather pointless centuries (from 13 innings in the last hour perhaps?)
El Pres, you pre-empt me. But where I come from it was "in". "In" was yelled to rule out the run out at the other end, to allow you to walk back to face after taking a single without some joker trying to run you out for taking a cheeky second, or to generally make sure you stayed in and there was no monkey business about being run out somewhere. Park cricket is full of chancers after all...
And then there were those chancers who would begin yelling "in" before they reached the crease. Despicable.
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
I seem to recall a few continued innings. Often scores would be like those conkers "it's a four-thousander" that seem to accumulate victories without doing anything...
An important question is at what stage would you bat reverse-handed. Was it after a certain score (30, 50, 100)? Was it when a much younger kid was having a brief bowl? Or was it when you were just generally taking the piss out of the bowler?
I favoured the third.
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
El Treasurorio wrote: Balls were either the red&white plastic allweather practise ones nicked from school (they lasted much better than proper balls if lost in the undergrowth) or tennis balls with cellotape to provide wicked swing. .
For those awkward monsoon months when our garden was under six feet of water, the shorter patio game was introduced; usually involved a ping pong ball which would lead to wildly optimistic expectations of swing in later cricket career.
A golf ball was also a possibility, though comedy spin would be compulsory, and the game would proceed only when there was no one in to justifiably fear for windows.
El Treasurorio wrote: paichukka wrote: Or was it when you were just generally taking the piss out of the bowler?I favoured the third.When have you ever done that?
Not since I last faced your pastry, I admit...
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
brazo de natillas wrote: For those awkward monsoon months when our garden was under six feet of water, the shorter patio game was introduced; usually involved a ping pong ball which would lead to wildly optimistic expectations of swing in later cricket career.
A golf ball was also a possibility, though comedy spin would be compulsory, and the game would proceed only when there was no one in to justifiably fear for windows.
Actually it was a golf practice ball for the patio game. That worked quite well. You could really go for your shots, but a cheeky push would garner far more runs. The switch to real golf ball was an added thrill. And pace was allowed. In fact it was much safer than flighting it, because of the bounce. Other innovations included batting with a stump. Bradmanesque...
But the indoor ping-pong game, that was a whole different matter. Winter cricket at its finest. Played on the knees, with a ping pong ball (cunningly swung by flicking it with your thumb as you bowled it), a wooden spoon as a bat, and a book as a wicket. The only scores were six (over the top) or four (very difficult as you had to beat the bowler in a hall approximately 1.20 m wide. A single fielder lurking at the foot of the stairs for chances. Catches behind the wicket were automatically awarded for any edge. Magnificent stuff, but pretty bad for the trousers (and the occasional spoon death).
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"Much Urdu about nothing" (Vic Marks describing Inzie's press conferences)
paichukka wrote: Actually it was a golf practice ball for the patio game.
Pah. Could be either.
Added hazard for the indoor game- kneeling on the ball leading to groans and scrambling for the next from the diminishing supply. I seem to recall a couple of shots that somehow broke a hideous hall knick knack. Really quite good going.
I'm putting my inability to score with anything other than a midwicket hoik down to the assymetry of our garden pitch. Next-door's greenhouse pretty much prevented the glorious drive, for the right hander.
Also fuzzily calling to mind the season when the touch-shorter-than-regulation garden wicket gained a Real Chalk Crease.
-- Edited by brazo de natillas at 22:56, 2007-04-05
Sevilla's flourishing scene continues to produce headaches for the next biennial Park Cricket Federation conference. This week's five-a-side featured the accidental run out of a nine-year-old debutant, a stumping due to wasp sting, a suspiciously dropped catch by a member of the batting side (in the deep by virtue of the Everyone Fields rule), and a winning six off a streetlight with a fielder lurking nearby. 12 ball overs too, to save time in bowler rotation. Much 'two left' in evidence.
